This is Part 1 of 3 of an article that allows us to take a look at what honest and open communication between ourselves and our children feels like. The brutal honesty that we may face when we open a conversation with one another sharing the thought.
If You Really Knew Me, You Would Know That _______. Are we able to respect and handle the words that will come out of each other mouths while realizing that our family members have something so personal to share?
We have lots of friends and know them well. And, our children, we believe they tell us everything. Why would anyone hold anything back? But, how many people do you really know, I mean really know? Yes, we know their name, where they live, who they’re married to and how many children they have. But, do we really know what is going on in their deepest of thoughts?
Do we really even know the individuals in our own family? We look at them everyday, and we even talk to them, but is it superficially or is it really open and honest communication?
Many people, including our children, have learned to ‘hide’ who they really are because of shame, pain, assumptions and fear. They’re afraid that if they shared what they really felt and who they really are, they would face rejection or even abandonment.
With so much negativity surrounding us, it’s almost like we have to act like Jekyll & Hyde. We’re this at home, that at work, and we act like this to some people and act a different way towards others. It’s almost like we have a duo personality.
We may even feel that if we ‘fix’ everyone else than we don’t have to fix ourselves. Is there time when we, as the adults, want to work on ourselves and come face-to-face with our past demons? To make a decision to release those situations, encourage /allow ourselves to forgive those who have, intentionally or unintentionally, hurt us, and actually be healed of all this muck?
Is there a chance that we can actually ‘Let Go and Let God?’ To raise our consciousness and understand that life was not meant for all this drama and turmoil? To feel that life is meant to share our love, compassion, and understanding towards one another, and to hold the utmost respect and an unconditional love/adoration towards our family, spouse, children and strangers.
Must we continue to allow so many outside forces to determine how we choose to feel, act, think, talk, dress, where we live, and what kind of car we drive? We have been manipulated by a society that constantly and subliminally dictates how, what, where, when and why. Yet, behind close doors, in our home, we have little to no communication going on.
We have become so distracted because we are either talking to ‘other’ people on their cell phone, texting those same people, or playing games on the television or computer. On top of that, we’ve supplied each individual, in our home, a place of refuge where they all go their separate way, ie. their bedroom, where they shut the door, and bingo, there‘s absolutely no communication or understanding with one another.
Our children have begun living in cocoons because they may feel that if their parents ever knew about ________, they would kick them out of the family or house, call the police and have them arrested, or force them to go to counseling. So, what have they learned to do with their feelings or secret? Hide them!
Lisa Hein is the author of THE BOOK “I’m Doing The Best I Can!” (They won’t always be cute an adorable), which describes her journey through ‘parentdom’ and shares great advice along the way. She is a motivational speaker and an internationally acclaimed radio talk show host of ‘Everyday Parenting,’ which can be heard on RadioEarNetwork.com. To order a copy of THE BOOK or to contact Lisa for your next event, visit her website at LisaRHein.com or email her directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.